Did My Time
by Japhith
Summary: Can Robin stop Raven from leaving forever? Does Raven want to be stopped? Songfic to Did My Time, by Korn. Rated for violence and death.


Did My Time

A Teen Titans story by Jake McDonald

Opening notes: Wrote this last night. It's short, only 1,938 words long, so don't freak out on me about how I'm taking too much time away from Jump City Cantata. Turst me, it's coming along nicely.

Funny though, how I've done another song-fic. Seems that after you do one, you can't help but find a billion other songs that you think would work well. This one is _Did My Time _by Korn, off of Take A Look In The Mirror. I thought Korn kinda pussied out for a while there, from Follow the Leader and Issues but then, the new stuff kinda' started to grow on me. I'm a fan again. Yay Korn.

Standard disclaimers apply. I don't own Teen Titans, and all lyrics are copyrighted to Korn.

* * *

It had happened again.

Raven stared at her reflection in the mirror that adorned her vanity. The face that stared back was calm, collected, and serious. A face she had seen so many times before, that just made her want to scream now.

She wasn't remarkably beautiful like Starfire was, that was for sure. At best, she could be described as 'pretty.' She didn't sell herself short on her physical attributes though; years of training and fighting had given her a flat stomach, athletic muscle tone, and a tight butt. Nature had given her proportional hips and large breasts. In short, she had a hot body.

Raven wasn't superficial in any way though, and her appearance had never concerned her.

But then, that was the problem, wasn't it?

She couldn't care about her appearance, because she couldn't care about anything. Maintaining control at all times was necessary, and feeling any kind of emotion ultimately led to negative emotions.

And that pissed her off.

Raven's fist slammed into the mirror, shattering it. As the glass fell to the vanity and floor with soft tinkling noises, she forced herself to calm down again. If she lost control, she'd become even more angry.

Then things would happen like they had earlier.

Patrol had started quiet, but had quickly degenerated into a loud, violent mess. Johnny Rancid had been at it again, and this time, he'd had enough fire power to level half the city. They'd tried to take him out quickly, but the hail of bullets he'd sprayed at them kept them pinned.

Then Beast Boy had taken a hit. It was just a minor wound really, and it was his own fault for trying to dive to safer cover, but all the same, it had rendered him unconscious. For the briefest of moments, Raven had thought he was dead.

That was before she had gone berserk.

Just like with Doctor Light, she had let Rage take over and do as it pleased. The bullets hadn't even gotten near her because she had telekinetically deflected them. Rancid had been enveloped in a black cloud of sinister energy and slammed into a wall. Then another. Then another.

It had taken Robin three minutes to talk her down, because she wouldn't let him near her. That three minuets had been full of the wet smacking sound of Johnny Rancid's body hitting the stone walls.

His skull had been crushed, and almost every bone in his body had been broken. He had probably died after the first minute.

And she had walked away again. Just ignored the rest of the Titans and walked away.

Now she sat in her room, knowing they'd be back soon. Knowing they would judge her then. Knowing that she didn't have what it took to be one of them.

* * *

_Realized I can never win   
Sometimes I feel like I have failed   
Inside where do I begin   
My mind is laughing at me_

* * *

Rage was too strong. _She_ was too strong. Her powers stemmed from evil, and would never really be anything but evil. The world would actually be a better place without her in it.

But even for all of her calm fearlessness, Raven knew she didn't have the bravery to kill herself. That took a truly desperate individual, and she wasn't desperate at all. She was calm. Collected. Focused.

The fact remained though, that if Rage were to escape again, people would be in danger, and her friends were the ones that would be first in line for it's wrath.

She had to leave, for the good of the team.

* * *

_Tell me why am I to blame   
Aren't we suppose to be the same   
That's why I will never tame   
This thing that's burning in me_

* * *

As she reached her decision, she thought with bitter resentment that it would be impossible for her to lead a civilian life. She would have to sequester herself away in a remote area, and sever all human contact. Alone was the only way she would be safe.

Her course set, Raven gathered her mirror, a few books, and a change of clothes or two. Stuffing it all in a pack, she slung it over her shoulder.

One last look around her room was all she took, more to make sure everything was neat and orderly for when the other Titans would have to clean it out.

Then she walked out the door.

* * *

_I am the one who chose my path   
I am the one who couldn't last   
I feel the life pulled from me   
I feel the anger changing me_

* * *

Rage was stirring still. She could feel that it had grown stronger as well. The demon inside of her was starting to take control of her permanently. As she walked slowly down the hall way, she contemplated ways to solve the problem.

She had made it up the elevator to the floor just below the roof before she settled on a course of action. She would have to enter a permanent trance to contain Rage and not let it take control of her. With her mind in a never-ending state of white noise, Rage wouldn't be able to take control of her physically.

A short flight of stairs led to the roof door, which she pushed open. Stepping out into the cool night air, she began to think about where she should go.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a strong male voice, "Leaving so soon? Without saying goodbye?"

Raven looked up with a frown, "Robin."

"Yes?"

"It wasn't a question."

He stared at her, and she glared right back.

* * *

_Sometimes I can never tell   
If I've got something after me   
That's why I just beg and plead   
For this curse to leave me   
Tell me why am I to blame   
Aren't we suppose to be the same   
That's why I will never tame   
This thing that's burning in me_

* * *

"I'm leaving." she stated quietly.

"Raven, look... you don't have to... we can help you, we can-"

He was cut off by her harsh laugh, "No one can help me, Tim."

He frowned at the use of his given name, but let it slide, "How do you know?"

"Beast Boy and Cyborg were barely able to help me contain Rage last time, and it's stronger now. It would rip all of us apart."

"Raven, I-"

"This conversation is over, Drake." he took a step back at her intensity, his eyes wide behind his mask, "I have to leave, or the whole world might be in danger."

* * *

_I am the one who chose my path   
I am the one who couldn't last   
I feel the life pulled from me   
I feel the anger changing me_

* * *

"We've done the impossible before, Raven. Who's to say this time will be any different?" Robin held up his hands in a gesture to stop her from leaving.

"This isn't just impossible." Raven shook her head and hiked her bag up on her shoulder better, "This is beyond comprehension. You wouldn't even know where to begin fighting something metaphysical, and I don't have the time to train all of you to do so."

"Raven, please..." Robin's voice was pleading now, and he took a step forward reaching out for her, "you can't just leave us."

"I can, I am, and if you touch me, I'll blast you off the roof."

Robin's hands fell to his sides and his shoulders drooped, "But we need you..." his voice was quiet, but it still pierced the still night air, "... I need you."

Raven's face softened, and for a moment, she pitied Robin. The emotions pouring off of him in waves screamed at her loud and clear what he was feeling.

The poor sod had fallen in love with her. For whatever reasons she couldn't imagine, but he had, and her leaving him would sadden and depress him.

Then her determination fell back in place like an iron clad door, "Robin, I know how you feel about me, but you _don't_ need me. Trust me, it would never work."

His head snapped up and he stared at her with wide eyes before he understood, "Empathy. Right." his head drooped again, "So you're leaving for good? Doesn't the work mean anything to you any more?"

"Robin... I've pulled my shift. You'll have to find someone else... it's over for me."

"But-"

"No." her voice was quiet and firm, "I'm trapped here. I need to go somewhere where I can keep my Rage under control forever. If I don't... well, Earth will be in danger. Azarath would over-run this puny little world in a matter of days."

"You can't be serious."

"I am. Now stand aside, Tim."

* * *

_Betrayed   
I feel so enslaved   
I really Tried   
I did my time__

* * *

_

Robin glared at her for several minutes. His face showed hurt, betrayal, anger, and desperation. Raven knew it was a mask. A defense against what he was really feeling.

Sadness. He was really going to miss her, and suddenly, she felt like doing something to make him feel better.

Damn conscience.

Taking five quick steps, Raven stood directly in front of Robin. He looked at her with wide eyes, and stuttered out half a word before she pressed her lips to his.

She poured every last vestige of love and friendship she had left into the kiss. It burned her to the soul, feeling his hands tangle in her hair and hold her to him, desperate to keep her there. It took a supreme effort to pull away from him.

"Goodbye, Robin the boy wonder." she whispered as she rested her forehead against his. A sob escaped his body, and she knew he was crying, "Goodbye, Tim Drake."

"Raven... I'll never forget you."

"Sappy." she said with a quirky smile, "Try to, Robin. Forget me, and move on. Be happy." She floated up out of his grasp and took one last look down at him.

_Goodbye._

* * *

_I am the one who chose my path   
I am the one who couldn't last   
I feel the life pulled from me   
I feel the anger changing me_

* * *

She had made it past the harbor and out to sea before Rage started stirring again. It wanted out. Wanted to destroy. Wanted to kill.

She cried out as images of herself ripping Robin apart flew though her mind. Her flight wavered and she began to lose altitude.

It was the love she had shared with him. It had held Rage at bay, and now that it had faded, Rage was coming back for revenge.

Black energies surrounded her and she felt herself losing control. Rage wanted to kill him. Wanted the one that suppressed it dead.

Raven knew she had to stop it. Not Robin. Not Tim. Her eyes searched around her wildly, looking for anything that could help her.

All she saw was the dark, roiling waters of the Pacific Ocean.

Her eyes narrowed in determination.

* * *

_Oh God, the anger's changing me_

* * *

As she dove for the water below, she focused on the kiss with Robin in order to keep Rage busy for just a few moments longer. How fitting that it was Robin. He had saved the world again, and he would never know it.

The dark waters looked cold, and this time of year, she'd die of hypothermia before she drowned. Rage began to struggle with her desperately, and she knew it was only a matter of time.

It was the only way. Her last thoughts were simple, focused, calm, and direct, just she always was.

_Goodbye Starfire, Cyborg Beast Boy. Goodbye Robin. Goodbye Jump City. _

_Goodbye._

* * *

Closing notes: I guess I could have left her alive, I thought it worked better with the song to have her end it on her own terms. And... aw heck. Why the hell not. Here's a teaser from Jump City Cantata, Chapter 5. Just for you guys. And because I feel bad for kaking Raven in the end of this one.

Additionally, I made a HUGE mistake here, and called Johnny Rancid Johnny Rotten in the origonal posting I edited that and reposted. Thanks to chickiidoo for spotting that one and pointing it out. You get a cookie.

* * *

Teaser

Jinx only had to wait a few minutes for her perpetrator to show up. He came down the long, wide hall way perfectly, avoiding all the lasers and motion detectors, but strangely, not bothering to stay out of the view of the cameras. As his shadowy form darted forward and was about to jump up to grab the edge of the hatch, she rolled out from her hiding spot, avoiding the lasers once again as she lashed out with her foot, kicking the thief's feet out from under him.

He went down quickly and quietly, not even shouting in surprise. As she dove away over a beam and landed back in the shadows, she glared at her fallen opponent, her the eyes of her mask shining white from the darkness she crouched in.

"Great." the robber said as he spiraled his legs above his head, kicking up into a standing position, "Just what I need... the Boy Wonder coming around to play tag."

Jinx stood up slowly and stepped forward two feet so that she came in to the light cast by the moon, shining down through the opening of the hatch.

The robber, still standing back in the shadows, made a slight noise of surprise, "Correction. Girl Wonder. Who the heck are you, baby?"

"Name's Jinx." she threw him a cocky grin, "I'm filling in for Robin tonight."

"Great, a wannabe bird-brain." the thief took a few steps forward until he stood in the light as well, just five feet from Jinx. The black suit was skin tight, and the shredded cape flapped lightly as he walked. The mask, a half skull with a what looked like a red cross splitting one of the eyes, shown brilliantly in the moonlight. The belt he wore, so much like the one she had borrowed from Robin, was buckled shut with a 'X'. "My name is Red X," he said with a tilt of his head, "and I'll be kicking your ass tonight."


End file.
